Putting oneself in someone else’s shoes: Engaging inter-religious dialogues from within

The expression “putting oneself in someone else’s shoes” is used in situations in which we should try to understand what another person is feeling or the hardships they are going through. But sometimes we have to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes to understand that person’s worldviews, mindsets, and even emotions. Empathy, solidarity, and compassion arise from this mental and bodily action.

In Mahāyāna Buddhist traditions compassion (Skt. karuṇā; Tib. སྙིང་རྗེ་), loving-kindness (Skt. maitrī; Tib. བྱམས་པ་), joy (Skt. muditā; Tib. དགའ་བ་), and equanimity (Skt. upekṣā; Tib. བཏང་སྙོམས་) arise from the developing process of the altruistic resolution to become a Buddha (Skt. bodhicitta; Tib. བྱང་ཆུབ་སེམས་), beginning with the first step of becoming an aspirational bodhicitta (Skt. bodhi-praṇidhi-citta; Tib. སྨོན་སེམས་).^[1] The next process can occur only after this feeling has become stable, leading the practitioner to become an engaged bodhicitta (Skt. bodhi­prasthāna­citta; Tib. འཇུག་པའི་བྱང་ཆུབ་ཀྱི་སེམས་). Engaged because it implies actions are being done to benefit others. It is a stage that invites practitioners to engage socially.

There is an (incorrect) impression that Buddhism never leads to social engagement. The Buddha himself led social changes by questioning social structures and creating a community according to standards that differed from societal norms. Time, and the pursuit of power, transmogrified these concerns and diverted Buddhists from the original idea, meaning that some communities lost the sense of putting themselves in another’s shoes. This also happened with Christianity and all other religions that had access to power and were corrupted by it. But this is not the topic of today’s discussion.

To put oneself in someone else’s shoes can imply engaging in the process of generating the good qualities desired in Buddhism, such as the pāramitās (Tib. ཕ་རོལ་ཏུ་ཕྱིན་པ་), like generosity, moral and ethical discipline, patience, joyous effort, and so on,^[2] to transform one’s will, with the intention of this being actually engaging in helping other people.

Not all shoes fit, some can really hurt your feet, or can easily fall apart, and this is why this effort to put more attention on the other rather than oneself is pure gold. In the Tibetan Geluk Tradition’s classic meditation and learning manual, the Lam rim Chen mo (Tib. ལམ་རིམ་ཆེན་མོ་), Je Tsongkhapa provides instructions for exchanging one for other, quoting the great scholar and master Śāntideva, from his Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra:

Whatever worldly joy there is /Arises from wishing for others’ happiness. / Whatever worldly suffering there is / Arises from wishing for your own happiness. / What need is there to say more? / Look at the difference between these two: / Ordinary persons act for their own welfare; / The Sage acts for others’ welfare. / If you do not genuinely exchange / Your own happiness for others’ suffering, / You will not achieve buddhahood, / And even in cyclic existence, you will have no joy.

Je Tsongkhapa, The Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path, Vol. 2, translated by the Lamrim Chenmo Translation Committee (Ithaca: Snow Lion, 2004), 52.

This is a valuable practice for Buddhists and non-Buddhists because the need to face our afflictions and egoism is a pressing task if we desire to do something for the other. When we acknowledge our problems, we are halfway to overcoming them. Crossing the second half implies effort and skilful means, but also patience.

Christianity also provides a good method to develop a person will to engage with the other, as it is presented in the Gospel of Matthew 25:34-41:

Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’

Matt. 25:34-41.

This is a valuable lesson for Christians and non-Christians alike. Our neighbours, enemies, friends, strangers, and whatever other categories we humans create can be represented by the image of Christ standing in front of us.

There is also another possibility from a Buddhist perspective. Vajrayāna traditions train practitioners in the practice of pure view. Pure view implies that in a specific moment of our practice, we see all sentient beings (not only humans) as a particular Buddha. It doesn’t really matter which Buddha one imagines, because the main point of the practice is to see each and every being as an awakened being. But after we finish the practice, people are just people, and all beings are still surrounded by suffering.

So, what is the point of doing this? It is to remind us constantly about the potential all beings have to become awakened. Acknowledging that all beings have this same potential gives us another perspective, one in which we all need to strive to achieve this goal, and also, that we are all trying to find happiness and avoid suffering in this world. But not on an individualistic sense. Since we all have the same potential and are social beings, then having this perspective gives us the sense of a (loving) responsibility in helping others. And to effectively help others – and ourselves in this process – the best possible way is to put ourselves in other peoples’ shoes.  

What I am trying to highlight is the importance of putting ourselves in other people’s shoes. We can do this according to different means, and within the worldviews of different religious systems. For me, and for others in my Buddhist community in Brazil – the Buddha-Dharma Association, these efforts led to engaging in inter-religious dialogue on a different level. Many of us were raised in Christian faith-oriented families, in my case (and of many of my friends) a Catholic family. Also, since the beginning of our community our mission was to establish inter-religious dialogue in order to benefit the poor and marginalised, through social projects on education (also in providing martial arts training for children and adolescents in vulnerable conditions).

On April 15^th this year, we professed the lay Dominican vows in the Dominican Order of the Catholic Church in a very touching ceremony held in Brazil. I thus became a Buddhist and Catholic practitioner engaged in trying to the best of my possibilities benefit all sentient beings with a dual belonging and turning my own life into a living inter-religious dialogue. For the members of my community and I, the idea of putting ourselves in other’s shoes brought us to the experience of living a dual belonging, because we felt the need to live in a way where we could better understand other people’s background, beliefs, motivations, and also share the same spaces. It also allows us to serve in a way that can be more appropriate to our context(s).

The sermon during the vow-taking ceremony was about Human Rights and the need to always protect human dignity and act on behalf of others in need, be it by being there for the other, teaching, serving, or any other action. It struck me as a gentle breeze. The same feeling and experience of bliss as I felt when I took my Buddhist lay vows (prātimokṣa and refuge) and later on, the Bodhisattva vows.

There are many stunning paths that lead to inter-religious dialogue, and opening up to another system is a unique and personal process. One can follow one way and study others, one can follow none and study many, one can follow two ways and study both or even study or follow many more. There should be no limits or boundaries when putting oneself in another person’s shoes. We should go in the direction the breeze leads, whether in the Christian sense of 1 Kings 19:11-13 and Acts 27:13, or in the Buddhist sense, as proposed by the Tzu Chi School of Buddhism, relating the four immeasurables to the gentle breeze that guides us towards our goal.^[3]

The gentle breeze I felt, was as if all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, the Holy Trinity – in particular, the Holy Spirit – were taking me to this moment: to transform my life in order to engage in putting myself in someone else’s shoes. Using two methods to talk to different types of people and spiritualities, and also serving – as both Buddhism and Christianity seek to serve all beings.

I cannot say what the future has in store, but I am letting this gentle breeze guide me wherever I am needed. At least for me, and for all who were there as well, we are moved deeply by what master Śāntideva says in his Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra (verses 18-22), that can easily sum up what many other religious traditions feel about the path:

May I be a guard for those who are protectorless, /A guide for those who journey on the road. / For those who wish to cross the water, / May I be a boat, a raft, a bridge. / May I be an isle for those who yearn for land, / A lamp for those who long for light; / For all who need a resting place, a bed; / For all who need a resting place, a bed; / For those who need a servant, may I be their slave. / May I be the wishing jewel, the vase of wealth, / A word of power and the supreme healing, / May I be the tree of miracles, / For every being the abundant cow. / Just like the earth and space itself / And all the other mighty elements, / For boundless multitudes of beings / May I always be the ground of life, the source of varied sustenance. / Thus for everything that lives, / As far as are the limits of the sky, / May I be constantly their source of livelihood / Until they pass beyond all sorrow.

Śāntideva, Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra, Verses 18-22. (See: Pandita Śāntideva, The Way of the Bodhisattva, translated by the Padmakara Translation Group (Boston: Shambala, 2011)).

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References

^[1] These four virtues – compassion, loving-kindness, joy, and equanimity – are central to Buddhist traditions, and are also known as the four immeasurables. Compassion understood in the sentence “may all beings be free from suffering and its causes (may I help them by removing their suffering)”; loving-kindness in “may all beings have happiness and its causes (may I help them by giving them loving-kindness)”; joy in “may all beings abide in happiness that is free of suffering (may I help them by bringing them joy)”; and equanimity in “may all beings abide in equanimity that is free from the extremes of attachment and hatred (may I help them develop equanimity).” The four virtues are important steps to develop bodhicitta, the desire or will to become a Buddha to benefit all beings. There are two types of bodhicitta, aspirational and engaged.

^[2] The pāramitās can be considered in two different divisions, as six pāramitās (Skt. ṣaḍ-pāramitā; Tib. ཕར་ཕྱིན་དྲུག་པོ་) or ten pāramitās (Skt. daśa-pāramitā; Tib. ཕ་རོལ་ཏུ་ཕྱིན་པ་བཅུ་).

^[3] “Sincerity, integrity, faith, and steadfastness are like the earth. Loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity are like a gentle breeze. The wisdom of the wondrous Dharma is like pure water. Earnestness and diligence are like the sunlight.” In: “With Sincerity, We Vow to Deliver All Sentient Beings,” Principles of The Jing Si Dharma Lineage & Tzu Chi School of Buddhism, Accessed August 15, 2023, https://tzuchidharma.org/blog/vows_with-sincerity-we-vow-to-deliver-all-sentient-beings.

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© Patricia Palazzo Tsai, 2023.

This work is licensed under Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0).

Cover Image: “person wearing brown lace-up boots standing on wet ground” by Brittany Colette is licensed under the Unsplash License.