Exchanging self for others: the ongoing process of hospitality in Mahāyāna Buddhism
Before we begin, I would like to propose a brief exercise. Please consider this as an invitation to experience something different, but feel free to not engage in it if you do not feel comfortable with it.
Let us imagine ourselves, with all the conditions we currently have at our disposal: food, drink, a roof over our heads, education, access to health system, a community we are part of, and also our abilities to benefit other beings. Even though we have all that, our minds are focused on the problems we have in our daily lives – papers to write, our jobs to keep, taxes and debts, conflicts with family members or colleagues, local and global politics, etc. How much of our daily lives is taken up with such matters?
Now, imagine we are looking in another direction, there is someone else standing there. We do not know if she or he has food, water, a roof, or even if she or he finished school. We do not even know where in the world that person is, or if they have any access to a shelter or refuge. We do not know if she or he will be alive later today, or even tomorrow. This person is a complete stranger, we don’t know her or his intentions. What should we do? Do we even think of these encounters?
This experience we just had is the initial part of the method of exchanging self and other (Tib. བདག་གཞན་བརྗེ་བ་) to develop bodhicitta,[1] attributed to the 8th century mahāpaṇḍita Śāntideva. In his Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra (Engaging in the Bodhisattva Deeds) he states:
Whatever worldly joy there is arises from wishing for others’ happiness. Whatever worldly suffering there is arises from wishing for your own happiness
ŚĀNTIDEVA, Mahāpaṇḍita. Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra (Trad. Plínio Marcos Tsai). Valinhos: BUDA, 2016.
Exchanging self and other is a method to create an opening to take off our shoes and look at others in a different light than the one we are used to, to then putting on the shoes of those other people. Reflecting on our exercise and scanning my personal memories of daily routine I could identify more times that I was self-cherishing and self-centered than when I showed concern for the Other. By perceiving this it is possible to begin a gradual and ongoing process of exchanging self for others.
Self-centeredness isn’t what defines human nature, there are plenty of examples in history of how the clinging to self-cherishing and self-centered objectives leads to waves of suffering for oneself and others. But more important are the examples of people that put others’ needs in front of their own, serving and benefiting others beings, such as the Buddha and Jesus, or even in our recent times people such as as Domenico Colapinto,[2] Denis Mukwege,[3] Zilda Arns,[4] or Pallabi Ghosh.[5]
In fact, we have more examples of this than is brought to us by the news. But, on the other hand, with the rise of different forms of political and economic systems, and particularly Neoliberalism, there has been a change in people’s hearts and minds[6] to a point in which self-centeredness and selfishness are considered virtues.[7]
For Buddhist traditions, these “virtues” are the direct result of afflictions (Skt. kleśa; Tib. ཉོན་མོངས་), which in turn have as their root distortive ignorance (Skt. avidyā; Tib. མ་རིག་པ་). This distortion is intense to the point that it clouds our perceptions on reality, and with this our minds and hearts are filled with attachment (Skt. upādāna; Tib. ཉེ་བར་ལེན་པ་) and hatred (Skt. dveṣa; Tib. ཞེ་སྡང་).
We can think of how this mindset has shaped – and continues to shape – our societies, with huge gaps between rich and poor, destruction of nature, climate injustice, gender inequality, famine and easily treatable diseases that could have been avoided in the so called third world countries. The way the first world countries went against the WHO (World Health Organization) and treated the COVID-19 vaccines as products for the ones who can afford them rather than considering a humane approach is a perfect example of how the Neoliberal mindset works.[8]
This individualistically cruel mindset influences our daily life decisions as well, and is what Śāntideva highlights as a self-centered and self-cherishing view – the wish for our own happiness regardless of that of others – that leads to all sufferings. The antidote to this malady is cherishing Others, or as Śāntideva’s stanzas state, it is wishing for their happiness. He goes beyond in affirming:
Look at the difference between these two: Ordinary persons act for their own welfare; The Sage acts for others’ welfare.
ŚĀNTIDEVA, Mahāpaṇḍita. Bodhisattvacaryāvatāra (Trad. Plínio Marcos Tsai). Valinhos: BUDA, 2016.
And where does hospitality come? After having done this exercise of exchanging self and other, it is possible to see the Other as the same as us, not below us or in any way Other. The Other suffers as we suffer – it is by changing how we perceive the reality in front of us that it is possible to understand hospitality, not only theoretically, but also experientially.
In the Tibetan language, hospitality (Tib. སྣེ་ལེན་ཞབས་ཏོག་) is defined as: “འགྲུལ་པ་སོགས་ལ་ཞུ་རྒྱུའི་ཁ་ལེན་ང་ལེན་དང་། བཟའ་བཏུང་གི་མཐུན་རྐྱེན་སྦྱོར་བའི་ཞབས་ཏོག་།།”.[9] A possible translation of this is the following: “The practice of hospitality [occurs] as soon as I acknowledge the guest (pilgrim, visitor, etc.), by taking upon myself to offer [her/him] provisions of food and drink.” The first action is acknowledging, that is, seeing the person’s sufferings in front of me even if they are not visible. The responsibility to offer that person food and drink is assumed, but the idea is not limited to that. After all it is common in Tibetan culture, and in Buddhist culture in general, to offer the safety of a roof. This safety is not only in terms of a place to rest and sleep, but also a place of refuge, against life-threatening dangers such as violence, freezing weather, or extreme heat, and so forth. The host becomes responsible for providing all those things, but this doesn’t mean they have superiority over the guest. Actually, the guest is to be held in high esteem, since it is because of them that the host can practice generosity and more than that, has the opportunity to exchange self and Other in practice.
Hospitality is one of the practical aspects of the exchange of self and Other. Connected to this method and hospitality is the last exercise we will do, called tonglen (Tib. གཏོང་ལེན་), which means “giving [happiness]” and “taking [suffering].” Let’s imagine all the people in the situation we imagined before, of our “stranger.” All of these persons’ sufferings – all their pain, hunger, sadness, hopelessness and so forth – become gray rays of light. We will take all these gray rays and collect them in our hearts. When they reach our hearts all the sufferings explode – and so does our selfishness. Then finally, we imagine that all our happiness become golden rays of light and we send those rays to all those people whatever their needs are. The golden rays fill their bodies, and they experience happiness without any suffering. Now, the stranger is no longer a stranger – they become closer to us in a sense they also share our happiness, and we share their suffering.
References
[1] The desire or wish to attain Buddhahood to benefit all sentient beings. Citta in Sanskrit refers to the mind and bodhi means awakening, so it also can be understood as the mind of awakening.
[2] A fisherman, who along other colleagues went to rescue survivors of a migrant ship in Lampedusa.
[3] A Congolese doctor who saved thousands of women’s lives, creating safe spaces for rape victims.
[4] A Brazilian paediatrician and aid worker responsible for saving thousands of children of poor communities.
[5] An Indian activist who has saved thousands of lives from human trafficking.
[6] As affirmed by Margaret Thatcher during an interview in 1981, “If you change the approach you really are after the heart and soul of the nation. Economics are the method; the object is to change the heart and soul.” In: Sunday Times, 3 May 1981.
[7] As affirmed by Ayn Rand in her The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism.
[8] As can be read in WHO’s site: https://www.who.int/news/item/22-07-2021-vaccine-inequity-undermining-global-economic-recovery (last access 09/07/2023).
[9] According to the Tibetan Terminology Dictionary, available online: https://tibterminology.net/ (last access 09/07/2023).
© Patricia Guernelli Palazzo Tsai, 2023.
This work is licensed under Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0).
Cover Image: “Shantideva(1)” from WikiMedia. It is public domain.
Patricia Palazzo Tsai teaches at the Buddhist Theology undergraduate program from Instituto Pramāṇa, in Valinhos, and is also Legal Director of the Buddha-Dharma Association in Brazil (http://buda.org.br). She is a Buddhist practitioner from Mahāyāna Geluk tradition. She is a member of the Scholars at The Peripheries research group from University of St. Andrews (coordinated by Prof. Mario I. Aguilar), and also a member of Sakyadhita International Association of Buddhist Women (and also member of the Sakyadhita Sao Paulo chapter). She researches Mahāyāna Buddhism, Buddhist Ethics, and Interreligious Dialogue. She tweets as @PalazzoTsai.
.gif){kind=link}